I came home from work today. I do that every day. I stopped at the red lights and signaled before I made the car turn in some other direction. I even flashed my lights at someone to let them back out of their driveway since nobody else let them out.

It was a really normal day up until this point.

Something didn't really look right at first when pulled up to the house. My signal was still on from turning on to my street and with the same staccato rhythm, the words came out of my mouth... my. tree. is. gone.

Someone stole my tree.

It was there when I left home. I know that because I took the garbage out this morning and saw it. Or, more accurately, I didn't see all the tree particles everywhere.

My tree is gone. Nobody asked me. Nobody called me at work and said "Hey, this tree you have. Would you like it to not be there anymore?"

Nobody sent me a text message that said "I nd a tree. Can I hav yrs?"

Now, I'm an easygoing kind of guy. I've had some weird stuff happen to me. Two years ago someone shoveled my walk in the middle of the night and then took off with my shovel, leaving a note in footprints in the snow that said THANKS. I've had a few car radios stolen over the years. Some kid started my mailbox on fire. I'm sure there have been other little things that I've forgotten about.

Never a tree though.

You know what really bugs me the most?

I don't know what to do.

Do I call the police and ask them to dust the sidewalk for prints?

Do I call the dairy and ask them to put a picture of the tree on a milk carton?

Do I tie a yellow ribbon around every soldier I see until my tree comes home?

I dunno.

Best I can say is that if anyone notices a car driving around with a huge tree hanging out of the trunk, get the license number and give me a call.

Who the h#ll steals a tree anyway?