Hello, and welcome to yet another edition of The Seasoned Rookie.  Once again we have pages and pages of excitement, insight, and a free stain-removal guide.  As you may remember, back in March Larry flew me to London for an exclusive interview with Miss Elisa Beasley.  That was such a popular article that we’ve decided to do it again – this time in Greece with our old friend Stratos – some of you may…

“Uh, Murph?”

 Why hello, Larry (as they say at iZook.)  What’s going on?

“Budget cuts again… we had to scratch the trip to Greece. Sorry.”

Well, that’s fine, we can always do that by phone, I’ll just dial… Why are you shaking your head like that? 

“I’m telling you… things are tight.  Do you realize how much it costs every time you take the iZook helicopter for your silly internet dating games? I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to work off a much smaller budget.”

No problem. I’ll just flip through the palm pilot and look up some of my celebrity connections, I’m sure there’s…  ok, what’s the problem now?

“No more celebrity endorsements either.  You don’t have any idea the trouble you caused with that whole… well, you know.  The legal people aren’t happy, the owner of the resort wasn’t happy, and I don’t know how you got that car going so fast in reverse up the stairs to begin with. No more nonsense.”

A few hours later Rae walked into my office and poured me a glass of Merlot. 

“Why don’t we interview YOU, Murph?”

“What do you mean? Isn’t that a little backwards?”

“Not really,” said Rae. “Besides, a lot of people read your stuff but have no idea what you’re all about. Lets do it. It should be fun.”

“Well, ok…  But how do you suggest we do this,” I asked.

A few hours later, Rae met up with me at the iZook broadcasting center and explained to me what was going on.  Apparently she had gathered friends from many different circles together for what would be one of the largest mass-interviews known to iZook.  Some people I recognized, others I had never seen before.

Here is a transcription of the evening’s questions:

Elisa Beasley, all the way from London, asks, “What terrain do you prefer for your Zook driving? Sand dunes? Mud? Rocks? Pavement? Trees? 

Eric Sineath from North Carolina wanted to know, “ When did you first start your four wheeling adventures?

Lexxy from Los Angeles called in wanting to know my favorite David Bowie song, and why.

Jim “Acker Dackerly” Cambron took a moment from editing the ZookiMelt 2002 video to ask a tech question: I hear that you are also a wizard at running speaker wires without resorting to punching holes in the wall or crawling through a dusty attic.  Any tips?

I’ve always been amazed at how people can take such a simple process and make it difficult. The key is to just make yourself really small and run through the heating ducts with the wire tied around your waist. If this doesn’t work for some reason, another idea might be to somehow attach the wire to a remote controlled car and drive it through the vents, but I should probably test that idea before publishing it. 

My Samurai's horn doesn't work. What is wrong?

It’s broken. Fix it.

Our very own Rae Champoux, Trails Editor for Izook, had a few questions for me as well...

Tell us a story about how you got into the Suzuki scene... who got ya hooked?

Hmm.. Well, I do have to admit that my recent introduction to the Suzuki was very much unexpected. I had originally wanted a Jeep Wrangler Sahara for no other reason than “they looked cool.”  I went to the local dealer expecting to drive one home that evening.  I left empty-handed, shocked at how much I would end up spending for the one I liked – there was no way I’d take that truck through anything more abusive than a car wash!  I loved the idea though, so I decided to find one of those little Suzukis to drive around for a while. The idea was that if after a year or two I didn’t hate the bouncy ride and drafty top, I would feel better about spending that kind of money on a “real Jeep.”

I eventually tracked down a truck I liked just outside of Sheboygan, Wisconsin. After a five hour drive with a co-worker, we returned to Peoria with a completely stock smurf-blue 88.5 JX complete with hardtop.  A few weeks later, I was asked to join a batch of guys at a place called The Badlands – TD Graham, Bob & Michele Norman, John Acuff, Bill “Airzuk” Maulding and his posse from Springfield. 

I will have to admit that this trip was probably the most horrible experience of my life. I had no idea what I was doing, I had little or no tread left on my tires, nobody with me to share the pain, and a batch of unforgiving guys who would not let me pack up and go home no matter how many times I tried weasel out.  

These guys and the way they treated me was the whole inspiration behind The Seasoned Rookie – I feel I was incredibly lucky to stumble into a group of guys who would later become who I call the center of my “Zookin’ Family.” 

Now that you have been out on the trails for around four years now, do you see yourself making the wheelers pilgrimage to such places as Moab, Tellico, etc in the future?

I’d love to. Until recently my time has been limited to Zookimelt, and the occasional weekend run to The Badlands.  Once I get around to putting the new engine in, I’ll feel a bit more confident about loading up the Zuk-n-a-half and exploring a little further.

Rocky from Central IL asks, “Where are the courses that challenge a man's soul?”